Kitchen Confidential

Tips from Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain

“Consider these suggestions as to your conduct, attitude and preparation for the path you intend to follow.

1.      Be fully committed. Don’t be a fence-sitter or a waffler. If you’re going to be a [____] some day, be sure about it, single-minded in your determination to achieve victory at all costs. If you think you might find yourself . . . wondering if you made the right move . . . find yourself doubting the wisdom of your chosen path, then you will be a liability to yourself and others. You are, for all intents and purposes, entering the military. . . Ready yourself to follow orders, give orders when necessary, and live with the outcome of those orders without complaint. Be ready to lead, follow, or get out of the way. . . .

3.      Don’t steal. In fact, don’t do anything that you couldn’t take a polygraph test over. . . .

4.      Always be on time.

5.      Never make excuses or blame others.

6.      Never call in sick. Except in cases of dismemberment, arterial bleeding, sucking chest wounds or the death of an immediate family member. Granny died? Bury her on your day off.

7.      Lazy, Sloppy and slow are bad.  Enterprising, crafty and hyperactive are good.

8.      Be prepared to witness every variety of human folly and injustice. Without it screwing up your head or poisoning your attitude. You will simply have to endure the contradictions and inequities of this life. . . . ‘Why is he/she treated better than me?’ . . . ‘Why is my hard work and dedication not sufficiently appreciated?’ These are all questions best left unasked. The answers will drive you insane eventually. If you keep asking yourself questions like these, you will find yourself slipping into martyr mode . . .

14. Have a sense of humor about things. You’ll need it.”

And now a tip of my own. Reading is crucial, especially reading closely and critically. It's important to keep track of all of the details in a story, article, or whatever you are reading to make sure you thoroughly understand it. And if you've gotten this far, you're willing to read closely no matter what it takes, and if you email me the phrase "Fortune favors the bold" before the end of the weekend of the first week of class, you'll receive an extra mulligan.