Developing a Thesis

    Imagine a courtroom television drama. The judge calls out to the prosecutor, “Opening Arguments.”
    The prosecutor stands, buttons his jacket, turns, and faces the jury. “Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, on the evening of October 15th, Jim Pembrooke was in the bathroom getting ready for bed when he heard a man’s voice in his bedroom, talking to his wife. He left the bathroom to see a man, the defendant Bill Thompson, threatening his wife with a gun. Jim jumped to the defense of his wife, struggling with Thompson for control of the gun. Thompson threw Jim off. Thompson then shot Catherine. Bill Thompson—”
    STOP! We’re going to interrupt. Everything so far has been an introduction. The prosecutor is setting up for his thesis, what he intends to prove during trial. But at this point, what does the jury need to know?

• The scope. How broad or narrow is this argument? The thesis needs to tell, specifically, who is involved.
• The idea. This will be the what and the why of it all. Remember, a thesis is an argument, not a fact.
• The direction. This indicates the kind of evidence that the prosecutor will present.
• With clarity. The audience must clearly understand the thesis.

Let’s look at two examples of how the prosecutor can finish with a thesis.

1. “Bill Thompson is now accused of viciously murdering his ex-wife, Catherine Pembrooke, in the first degree, which indicates premeditation, because he was jealous of her success and happiness with her new husband, Jim Pembrooke.”
2. “Bill Thompson premeditated and murdered Catherine Pembrooke.”

The two statements contain similar information.

• Bill Thompson is the killer of Catherine Pembrooke. (The scope and the idea)
• He intended to kill her, and he planned the whole thing. (The scope and direction)

Analysis of the first statement

• 34 words long. The core issue of premeditated murder is hard to dig out. Thesis lacks power and clarity.
• passive verb phrase “is now accused.” Make the thesis action oriented. Who is doing what to whom?
• adverb “viciously” describes the murder but doesn’t add to the argument’s scope or direction.
• new information: “of murdering his ex-wife,” “in the first degree,” “of her success and happiness,” “with her new husband,” “which indicates premeditation,” “new husband, Jim Pembrooke.”
• The information is better served as evidence of the argument, not in the thesis.
• It repeats information from the introduction. We already know Jim and Catherine are married.

Analysis of second statement

• 7 words long. It’s impossible to misunderstand. The message is powerful and clear.
• Uses active verbs premeditated and murdered to indicate scope and direction.
• Free of excess information. We move forward knowing what we need to know.

Guidelines for a good thesis

• Be short and specific. Every word counts! Keep it to fewer than 12 words.
• simple sentence structure: subject, verb, object.
• Use the active voice, not passive. Choose powerful, evocative verbs to send meaning
• Avoid is (was, were, being, etc.), have (has, had), and do (did)
• Declare answers to questions; do not ask a question with a thesis.
• Do not burden thesis with unnecessary information. Save it for the argument’s evidence.

Difference between thesis and paragraph topic sentence
     There isn’t one. A paragraph topic sentence refers back to a thesis. The thesis encompasses the entire essay, whereas a paragraph topic only deals with that paragraph. It now becomes a question of organizing the essay’s structure. Plan and outline the essay with thesis statements and paragraph topic sentences.